Beneath the Noise

One day, I was reviewing my journals for a creative idea and much to my dismay, I had written nearly identical entries every few months and years. To be honest, it frightened me. Was I role-playing Bill Murray in the movie Groundhog Day?

When life’s occurrences became too much, I turned to practices I knew helped, like sitting in silence for a few minutes, grounding myself, or writing things down so my thoughts were on paper instead of making the rounds in my head. All wonderful things to do, but I was not consistent. These practices were a reaction, and I wanted to make them part of my day-to-day.

The more I stopped to notice, the more I felt connected. The more I felt connected, the more I remembered. It is not a “living in the past” kind of remembering. It’s deeper. A knowing. I began staying longer in the space I called “beneath the noise.” I had a much clearer view of the patterns I had been creating and how I was reacting instead of remaining present and observant. I could also see how far I had come. Everyone deserves a pat on the back for that.

Nature connections became stronger and I remembered I was a part of it. We all are.

Beneath the noise, you remember what brought you joy, no matter how small it may seem. You feel.

And connections. You remember those too. Important bonds, old friends and new, soul connections, family, and pets. And you see you.

Somewhere along the line, I learned to stuff “my stuff” down. It eventually comes back up, and yes, I stuff it down again behind a wall. Sure, some things are meant to remain private. However, fear of judgement may be more common than we think.

Your story matters. (Ringo, the crow who lives on my street, has just cawed. This is a sign he approves of this truth. He does claim to be an expert.)

Your story matters. Your inner world matters.

There is a place beneath the noise. At times, I still forget.

Something reminds me. It was there all along.

 ~ Sandra